A Journey ... My Trip to Haiti March 2010

"A Different View of Haiti" Article

2010-05-04T08:16:00.000-07:00

The above link is to an article I wrote for InFlight USA magazine about my journey to Haiti that will appear in the May issue.

That journey is continuing as I try and determine the best way to write to help Haiti and the Haitian people. I have been offered the gift of many stories I could tell, but I'm realizing I want to tell the uplifting and positive ones. The media does an adequate job of presenting the negative. I would like to try and focus on the best of human nature being brought out in the midst of this tragedy.

There are rays of light to be found in even the darkest places in Haiti. The beautiful school in Cite` Soleil and the children there are a classic example. If you read the papers, there is talk about supposed impending violence in Cite` Soleil; how horrible conditions are there. There is however, another side to that story and to Cite` Soleil, and all you might read in the media is not grounded in reality.

I do not mean to minimize the conditions, for they are indeed still horrendeous for too many in the aftermath of the quake. Absolutely the government and International community needs to continue to do all it can to rebuild and bring Haiti to a place of integrity for its people. I use that description "bring Haiti to a place of integrity" intentionally, for integrity has not always been a part of the equation in how its own government or the world as a whole has treated Haiti and its people.

But I want to focus on the good, and envision that good growing exponentially and Haiti being restored from this tragedy into the place of beauty it once was and can be again. I want to write about the positives; the light and hope.
Those things are to be found in the people and stories involved with the organizations I've already mentioned here: Project Medishare - Aviation for Humanity - Art Creation Foundation for Children Within each are tales of the best in human nature coming forth in giving and generous ways.

A positive attitude and light can be found too in the faces of these children at the school in Cite` Soleil. A school that was built by community leaders who chose not to dwell on violence or the past, but instead on creating a productive and peaceful future for these children.

$9.9 Billion

2010-04-01T11:39:00.000-07:00

UNITED NATIONS — Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon says donors went "far beyond expectations" and pledged $9.9 billion over more than three years to rebuild earthquake-ravaged Haiti.

Haiti had appealed for $3.8 billion for the next two years. The U.N. chief said the $9.9 billion includes pledges of $5.3 billion from governments and international partners for the first 24 months of reconstruction, far-exceeding Haiti's request.

Ban told a news conference at the end of a daylong donor conference on Wednesday that the international community had come together "dramatically and in solidarity with the Haitian people" to help them recover from the Jan. 12 earthquake.

A piece from one of many news reports on yesterday's donor conference in N.Y.

Let us hope this money will not be lost in words and good intentions yet again not manifested into concrete actions leading to real change and hope for the Haitian people.

If they are skeptical and weary of promises not kept and of a government that does not fulfill its obligations to its people ... I understand why after having been there and talking with/looking into the eyes of those who suffer as a consequence; after having learned more of Haiti's long and tragic history.

On the "person to person" scale, the best of human nature has - and continues - to shine through in Haiti since the quake, in the Haitian people themselves as well as in the incredible human beings from all over the world who have offered support in person and through contributions. It remains to be seen if that will be the case on the larger scale of country to country - government to government. History shows it's not always the case.

There is no harm in thinking positive and envisioning this will be the beginning of hope for a sustainable, positive future for the people of Haiti and their country ... a new start where much that was so very wrong, can be righted.

There is harm in letting this country and these people down yet again.

The 8th Wonder of the World?

2010-03-30T07:40:00.000-07:00

This is the Citadel. I'm told the Haitians refer to as yes - the "8th wonder of the world." Rightly:

From Wikipedia:

"The massive stone structure was built by up to 20,000 workers between 1805 and 1820 as part of a system of fortifications designed to keep the newly-independent nation of Haiti safe from French incursions. The Citadel was built several miles inland, and atop the 3,000 ft (910 m) Bonnet a L’Eveque mountain, to deter attacks and to provide a lookout into the nearby valleys. Cap-Haïtien and the adjoining Atlantic Ocean are visible from the roof of the fortress. Anecdotally, it is possible to sight the eastern coast of Cuba, some 90 miles (140 km) to the west, on clear days."

I was privileged to see it from a perspective most do not, from above in a Cessna 172. You look at that one road that is the only access - you contemplate what it took to build something of that magnitude there - and it's easy indeed to make comparisons with say, the Pyramids.

It is a tragedy to me that something this magnificent ~ is basically hidden from the world.

Looking at my pictures from the flight that day - which ranged from the photograph above to a view of the destruction after take-off:

To this beautiful shot of Port au Prince I shared in a previous post as we came in to land:

I realize these could serve as a testimony to what the quake represents in the lives of the Haitian people and in the history of the country itself. The Citadel is a testimony to their strength and determination; the damaged landscape a testimony to their courage and resilience; the end-of-day sunlight shining down a testimony to their faith.

Misconceptions and Stereotypes ...

2010-03-28T08:32:00.000-07:00

So many of those to choose from when it comes to Haiti and her people I'm not sure where to begin. But let's go with the old adage that a picture "speaks a thousand words" and start with the above photograph I took in Port au Prince.

It depicts a white female who - driving alone - got stuck on a curb. When we drove up on this scene, the woman was smiling and talking to the group of men who had gathered around to try and help her. You can't see it from the picture, but there were two men at the upper right corner of the vehicle trying to dislodge it.

I told friends and family via e-mail while I was still in Haiti - in an attempt to ease their concerns - that I honestly have felt more uncomfortable walking/driving the more impoverished, seedier parts of San Francisco than I ever did in Haiti. Why is that? I've thought about it a great deal since I've been back. Had I come across this same scene and situation in any of the more unsavory and impoverished sections of any large American city, I doubt I'd have wrtten what I did above to describe it. To the contrary I probably would have been inclined to pull over and "rescue" her. If you live in the states, if you've ever driven through some of the areas I'm referring to - I know you know what I mean.

I suppose it has something to do with drugs not being an issue in Haiti as they are in much of the U.S. But more than that I keep coming back to it being something intrinsic about the Haitian people themselves. There is an inherent grace, dignity and good-natured spirit about them; honed I can probably rightly conjecture, from a long history of oppression ... combined with a dogged and sustained through generations determination to hold on to their deep faith, wherever that may come from (I will not venture down the path of religious discussion here - ever) as well as what seems to be enormous wells of courage and the ability to make the best of what life hands them to deal with.

Given that, it makes their situation - before and after the quake - that much more heartwrenching.

I was told by a native Haitian their greatest strengths, seem to often be their greatest weaknesses. As I come home from this trip and continue my journey by continuing to educate myself about the history of Haiti, both of the country and of the people themselves, as well as how they have been treated by the world at large ... I get what he's saying. It's hard not to just sum up an extremely complicated and involved subject by saying simply - over time this country and its people have been horribly oppressed and used due in part to their having been too complacent because of circumstance and their basic nature. And it is difficult to assert yourself when looking down the barrel of a gun - the history of Haiti has also included far too much violence directed at those who tried.......

I deeply hope - as do many Haitians I spoke with - that this earthquake will open a window of insight for the world and for Haitians themselves. I hope the Haitian people will find the continued strength, needed determination, combined with that intrinsic courage, to stand up after this tragedy and demand a place at the table as it is set for recovery largely by outside interests. I hope the world because of this earthquake and a chance for a new start for the country, will take a look at what has been done over many years in Haiti and see larger lessons for us all - help Haiti and her people become more self-sufficient and less dependent on aid. They want that for themselves. They are not ignorant of their own internal issues, nor are they lacking the desire for something better for the future.

But they are poster children for how oppressive the world can be - both from outside and within, for there are indeed also internal forces at work against them - when money, power and control take precedent long term, over basic human rights. We need to give them a chance for meaningful, long-term, empowering change. Now.

Why does it have to be another tragedy before it gets attention?

2010-03-27T07:56:00.000-07:00

The following is a quote from an article on the Huffington Post site by investigative journalist Georgianne Nienaber that I mentioned here in a previous post: Haiti: Diarrhea Threatens Infants and "We Are in Reaction Mode Instead of Planning Mode." I'm coming back to it because I actually spoke with Georgianne - and the more I know, the more I seriously cannot understand why the media is so quiet on this:

"What should the mainstream media do when the guy who identified the H1N1 outbreak in Mexico and was a key player and founder of ARGUS, a global detection and tracking system for the early detection of biological events, says Haiti is facing a serious gap in preparedness, early warning, and rapid response regarding pediatric diarrheal disease? If they are doing their homework, they talk to him and other epidemiologists and doctors in the field who say that the big NGOs and the United Nations are fudging the facts about their accomplishments.

While in Haiti, we met Dr. Jim Wilson, who among other things, has tracked and identified SARS outbreaks, H1NI, Marburg hemorrhagic fever, and issued the first warning of H1N1 resurgence in the United States in the summer of 2009. Remember the melamine contaminated baby food scandal in China? Well, he was the one who first detected it through via reporting of unusual renal disease in babies there. He has offered testimony to Congress on the Argus Program and to Homeland Security. In the late 1990's, Wilson worked with the World Health Organization and NASA to examine environmental and climatic activities in Africa potentially associated with the emergence of the Ebola virus ....
As Wilson reports on his website, and contrary to what the United Nations and Care International have reported , about safe drinking water and sanitation in the IDP camps, the opposite is true."

It's a sad testimony to what's happened to journalism in this country when something like this just sits ignored - tucked into nooks and crannies of Blogs on the internet - until ... it blows up into a horrible disaster that will boost ratings, draws advertisers and only then suddenly has news organizations and "professional journalists" fighting to cover it.

I shall date myself and say as a child it was Huntley and Brinkley and Walter Cronkite on the television every night so I'll grant you I grew up with an entirely different standard for news, but one I think we should go back to. I don't watch the news anymore; I gather my information from trusted sources on the internet.

Seriously ... can this predicted potentially deadly outbreak be prevented or at least the consequences substantially minimized with pro-active steps now please? We're talking kids being the most vulnerable. Do they really have to die first to get attention?

I know this is all overwhelming and more than a little depressing. The world is full of problems and we all certainly have our own personal things to deal with. Pick a disaster Susan, they're everywhere in the world.

Sigh, yes, yes they are ....

But ever notice when really horrendeous things happen like the Haitian earthquake and we all get inundated with it on the news and it starts to take over conversations in the course of the day because it's such a big deal and we get concerned and care because for that little while it all has our attention we relate and we realize "there but for the grace of ... go I" and the celebrities come out and sing to us about it and we all get a little bit of that fuzzy "gee, maybe we really ARE all one" feeling listening to/watching them and so we're motivated to help and we do which is wonderful, and we send in our donation and we feel a bit better and then our own lives start to take priority again and disaster fatigue sets in and we really would rather kind of move on and not think about it much anymore because it's depressing, and the news media knows that so they move on too and find something else to grab our attention with so their ratings stay up there and the advertisers stay put and therefore the poor place and people who had that horrendeous disaster and are still living/dying/coping with that horrendeous disaster start having to deal with the consequences of not being the headline news of the day anymore and getting the help that always brings until ... because of the fact that the help starts to dissipate and things aren't dealt with and so another huge disaster on the human scale comes as a result of lack of attention and help which inevitably results in the loss of even more lives and the creation of yet more dramatic photo ops at which the media goes "gee, look, more horrible things are happening here" that are dramatic and interest-holding and will make our ratings go up ... and the cycle starts all over again? Know how that is?

Well ... how about we try not to let that be the case this time.

I'm sorry this sounds so jaded and negative. But actually it isn't. Why?

Because I believe we're better than that ~ it's why I wrote this.

(A project Medishare medical relief worker offers a chocolate bar to a child outside the airport based Medishare Hospital in Port au Prince 3/6/10)

Children ....

2010-03-26T09:21:00.000-07:00

I was looking through my notebook and photos this morning from the trip. I'd written notes about the afternoon we went to the school in Cite`Soleil, and how the children swarmed around me. They wanted to touch my clothes, my camera, to make eye contact. They giggled and pointed and smiled in glee as I snapped photos of them and instantly shared them - how often did they ever see themselves? Seems mirrors aren't too prevalent in a tent city. They were "sweetly respectful" I had written in my notes, "curious but never intrusive. It was like they were in awe of me; that I represented something to them. I'm not sure I deserved that ..."

That is not an unusual reaction to a white person in a country like Haiti, I'm well aware of that. But my mature older self had a flashback to my 13 year old self in the Philippine's. I remember the same reaction there, walking the streets of Angeles City outside of Clark AFB. What a sad and depressive environment that was; such a stark contrast to where I came from. They were a bit more jaded there however and oddly I have rememberances of feeling unsettled and a bit threatened. That could have been related to my age at the time and the fact that it was my first exposure to that kind of poverty - that world. But I still come back also to the fact that there is something about ... the Haitian people.

A white ("blan" as they say in Haiti) person obviously represents to them - as it also did to those children in the Philippines - something to be in awe of.

I do indeed have to question whether I'm worthy of that.

This trip has me coming home acutely aware of the excess in my world; uncomfortable somewhat because if one is lucky enough to live relatively without want in the U.S., life doesn't ask us to dwell on that excess - it asks us to revel in it. Advertising implores us to acquire more this more that; speaks to our egos and salves our conscious with rationals that aren't really valid in the end, but echo sufficiently in the beginning to walk us easily down the material path of life fullfillment. It's like that from childhood on. And that all works fairly fine ... until you get exposed to the other extreme and you have any sense of empathy at all. Then you kind of start to squirm a little like I am.

I'm not advocating give it all up and living a life of austerity and service - that's for saints and I'm far from one. But I am saying - seems there has to be a better balance. Is it just luck of the draw that I live the life I do? Certainly there have been life choices, hard work, discipline that have all played over the years into my circumstances now. But I can't avoid the fact that I was born into a comfortably off middle class family in the United States. And these kids swarming me in Cite` Soleil certainly were not.

I can't change their world for them. Ultimately only they as the future generation of Haiti can make the kind of meaningful, at the core of their country changes that can shape the world their children will grow up in.

But they - like impoverished children the world over - need to somehow be empowered; given some hope.

And I - we - can do little things to maybe help toward that end at least for the children of Haiti.

I can tell you I think I need to be in awe of the spirit I saw in the Haitian people on this trip, in awe of their dignity I mention often because it was so apparent; in awe of their graciousness and humor and strength in the face of such incredible sorrow and adversity. I can read their history and gain respect for it and how it has shaped the world they live in now - how it is going to continue to shape their desire for a better future.

Lets all see the connection with doing small things that might help some children in Haiti. And like the butterfly effect, perhaps those small things could have a larger overall impact. Especially if offered by enough people ... in the right way for the right reasons.

I think it will be a good thing as I continue to process this trip for me to be in awe of those kids, as opposed to letting it be the other way around.

(These were children at the fresh water spring at Souce Zabete; an uplifting image after seeing all the dirty water in Port au Prince ...)

Where did it all go?

2010-03-25T11:39:00.000-07:00

So what do you think I'll address here with that subject title? Money? Hmmm.....I could. But I won't - for now anyway. It's a balance to address the genuine good that's been done/can be done with monetary donations ... and addressing the harm that also can be done without souring people on wanting to help. It is SO important that you do. But do your homework. As I do mine - I realize more and more how naive I've been in ways. The need is too great in Haiti to be naive.

Again like a broken record I'll say - want to help? Support the groups I suggest on this Blog. I promise your money will go where it's intended.

No ... that said, I want the question to apply to: where did the media coverage all go?

Hey Anderson Cooper - get yourself and your camera crew back to Port au Prince - you're not done yet.

On to other things is where they've gone of course. It's always that way with big disasters. The media's short-attention-span theater side kicks in and when the headline grabbing, mostly horrendeous and heart-wrenching immediacy of a disaster is over ... off they go to something more current.

Here's the sad thing though with Haiti: the horrendeous and heart-wrenching sadly isn't over. With the rains coming? I hate to type this wanting to be the eternal optimist I am, but the reality is the tragedy that has already been this earthquake is going to jump to another level of horrendeous soon. People need to still pay attention and to care ... and to act. Now.

Here's a piece by journalist Georgianne Nienaber that imho should have been front page news in major newspapers, with the subject front and center on evening television news reports. I found it tucked into a Haiti page on the Huffington Post online:

Haiti: Diarrhea Threatens Infants and "We Are in Reaction Mode Instead of Planning Mode"

Don't let it all get deadly again before it's worth wide-spread media coverage. Can't we set a new standard ... please?

Don't let this ~ be mis-placed.......................

What can truly help now - and what perhaps isn't....

2010-03-24T09:40:00.000-07:00

How do some "aid agency" people ~ sleep at night?

If one is so inclined, there's no shortage of "from the trenches" stories emerging on the internet from within Haiti of how the aid situation is deteriorating due to lack of co-ordinated and timely support, supplies and assistance getting where they need to. Some of the reasons for that are somewhat understandable? Others simply make me angry.

I'm not back-tracking on my earlier commentary that the Haitian people themselves ultimately need to step up and demand that their gov't do what it should be doing under these horrendeous circumstances and demand long-term solutions that are in their own interest. The Haitian community leaders are right in wanting them to empower themselves that way for their own ultimate well being.

But as the rains come it's becoming more painfully apparent that comprehensive, safe solutions need to come en masse now - and quickly - in a way that only the gov't and world aid institutions can provide under the circumstances. The situation deteriorates daily and it is only going to get worse.

But the more I educate myself through reading and research about conditions before - and after - in Haiti, the more I realize what an unfair hand the country and its people have been dealt for a long, long time now. Being there gives a person an entirely different view of both the country and the people. And it's allowing me to read articles, opinion pieces, so-called "this is how it is" statements with a wary and skeptical eye that is looking for what I personally now believe to be more truth ... than spin.

I spoke yesterday at length with the founder of "Aviation for Humanity" - Rymann Winter.

Let me state categorically that AFH is an organization that was started for the right reasons, is being run for the right reasons and has had immediate and positive impact on helping Haiti and its people since the earthquake ... and continues to do so. Please support them.

Aviation by its nature has that ability - delivering immediate aid to specific places. As Rymann said, how satisfying to fly a doctor or medical crews into an area knowing they will immediately begin to supply care and relief.

Because it's so important - especially now that Haiti is disappearing from the media radar in spite of conditions only continuing to deteriorate - I again want to emphasize the value in donations to Aviation for Humanity, Medishare, Partners In Health for insuring the type of help truly needed is indeed provided.

Also, please support the wonderful Art Creation Foundation for Children in Jacmel. Judy Hoffman and all associated with this school are models of how to effectively help the children - and thereby the future - of Haiti.

I just received this update from her - an appropriate and important ending for this post.

Thank you for reading, and caring...........

Update - Art Creation Foundation For Children - Jacmel Haiti

Good morning all. I want to give you a sense of what it is like for our children at ACFFC these days. They are strong and they see the future - because they have become a family, because they are not hungry in the night, because if sick, they have assistance, and most important, because they have found their voices and spirits. Their hearts are open and they, as a group are incredibly compassionate. Their creativity and your support have helped them to move mountains.

The situation in Haiti, despite the fact that it is now off the front pages of the newspapers, is dire. We are now at the beginning of rainy season and while our children and most of their family members have tents (thanks to Jen and Guy Pantaleon, Zanmi Lakay), there are many people out there under nothing more than a lean-to covered with a bedsheet and woven banana leaves.

Our children have, what is defined as 'food security' - in other words, they do not miss a meal because of lack of resources and gratefully, the same is so for their families (thanks to G.O. Ministries) but most people stand out in lines for hours for a plate of food.

As I have told you before, almost all of our children have family in Jacmel and they care and worry about them, so the fact that we have been able to extend help to their families has also been a good thing.

When basics are provided, and a program such as ACFFC is in place, 'our' kids (children/teens) have found the joy of creativity - it is as if second nature. They have become excellent papier mache artists. We have several teens who are extraordinary painters, and all they ask is quality canvas, good paints and fine brushes! We have a team who have been drawn to photography (thanks to Jen and Guy) and have had their images on the NY Times website - because of this, we have been contacted by the Globe and Mail of Canada, to provide several ACFFC youth (called photojournalists in the NY Times) an ongoing assignment. There is a group from Canada coming in to work on a set design with our children which may also become a book (they have worked in Niger, Suriname, elsewhere with the connection being Doctors without Borders). Laurel True (mosaic artist) and Nancy Josephson of our Board (also artist/musician) will be working with the group to build a memorial wall in Jacmel to represent a reflection on the earthquake and how it has impacted lives. Because of intent and serendipity, we had a visit from Georges Valris (sequin flag artist) and there is a project in the making. And while I was there, the children gathered rubble, wrote and painted about it and it, too, may become an exhibition. Our children are being heard.

My worry is that, as Haiti becomes less prominent in the news, and as the donation dollars and aid are totaled (note, the majority is NOT reaching the people), you may think that the need at ACFFC is any less great than it was pre earthquake and than it is now.

While everything has changed, nothing has changed! And in the process, we have 16 more children in the program than we did before. Add to that a waiting list coming just from our families who have additional children of their own or in their care.

No matter that we have been featured on the UNICEF website. No matter that our program works. No matter that we are 100% accountable and have proven outcomes. We simply do not get the support of the mega-agencies that are more focused on planning and initiatives and politics than doing and being.

My dream is that you never forget ACFFC, and that you remain a part of our family now and forever! I believe in these children, in my dreams, and in you. Our children believe in you. Please walk with us!

Fear ...

2010-03-23T07:40:00.000-07:00

I deliberately chose the above picture for this post. Because for many reasons, had fear creeped into mindset at any point on this journey, I wouldn't have gone in the first place. And I definitely would not have seen these beautiful kids in Cite` Soleil ... jumping rope at dusk in a place that so many would have said, "oh but you cannot go there!"

I acknowledge that I went to Haiti under extraordinary circumstances. Unlike so many of the truly heroic relief workers - medical and otherwise - who responded to the disaster of the earthquake, I was comfortably housed, transported and cared for. I did not sleep in a tent; I did not battle dirt and bugs; I did not have to face the kind of trauma that a disaster by its nature presents to those who have the skills to provide aid. Not for a moment do I discount the affect that had on the experience I had in Haiti; not for a moment do I discount the perceptions it allowed me to come home with - as opposed to others who experienced the opposite of what I did.

But I believe there was a reason for the circumstances I was in - for the ability to experience Haiti the way I did, when I did. As someone commented on my post yesterday regarding the overall perception of Haiti via the media: "The focus on poverty, with the repeated tagline "the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere" and the exagerated references to crime and unrest, make it hard for viewers to imagine any other aspect of life in Haiti." I have to agree.

Making this trip brought out fears and concerns in family and friends. Reacting only from the perceptions of the media, they understandably thought I was - nuts. It was a dangerous place, both prior to the earthquake and especially now. It was humid and disease ridden; the people and country volatile and potentially dangerous. How brave of me many said. How stupid many said also ....

I wasn't brave. But nor was I stupid. My host had insisted before he agreed to my coming - before I made the commitment to come - that I educate myself about his country. I say "educate myself about his country" however I think I more accurately should say, "begin to educate myself" about his country. For the more I learn? The more I realize there is to learn. But prior to going, with just what I read and understood at that point both from my research as well as speaking more with my host as well as others who had seen Haiti from his perspective - the easier it became to settle in to a comfortable determination to make this trip, and to reassure concerned others that I was going to be - just fine.

That isn't exactly a true statement in the aftermath of the trip however. I'm not "just fine." I'm changed. Because I saw the other sides of Haiti and the Haitian people, as I think it was intended for me to. I think that was a gift I need to honor. The people I referenced above - the relief workers in the trenches - were certainly not offered that opportunity. Their reality of the negative was real and raw and absolutely valid and part of the big picture. But so too was my more positive reality.

I'm puzzled and frustrated about how - but more than a little determined to try now and find a way of presenting a different portrait of Haiti and her people. I feel that it was a blessing not to be taken lightly to see the country in the light that I did.

Little things ... but that mean more than you'd think. Remember - if you've been reading here for a while - my mention of the humidity? Two days into my trip, as I yet again marveled at what I considered a real lack of it, I asked Reg, "am I crazy, or is it just NOT that humid here?" I got a smile out of him that I came to recognize as his "let go of another myth about Haiti Susan" look. He said no, I wasn't crazy. There were days of course when it was higher than others - but overall he agreed with me that Hawaii was more humid. Now I recognize again - I wasn't experiencing Haiti in the post-earthquake trenches so to speak and a relief worker reading this that might have been out in the heat of the day doing challenging and horrendeous things might argue with me - and I wouldn't argue back over their perception. But if we're talking a general reality - and trying to perceive this island differently from stereotype? The "Haiti is tropical/miserable" humid myth needs to go. Small first step in a new vision.

So fear ... I guess it's fair for me to say to those of you reading this, please don't be "afraid" of Haiti. Those kids jumping rope should hold as much sway on your impression of Haiti as crumbled buildings, dead bodies, burning tires and visions of armed soldiers and dictators that recent and past images in the media have painted of Haiti. Actually those kids should weigh more in your perception in my opinion.

Because they are a vision of hope for this country.

Again, I was so blessed to see Haiti from the perspective I did. Look below - taken from Reg's plane.

Doesn't it indeed ~ look like God is trying to shine some light?

Hope....

2010-03-22T07:29:00.000-07:00

I love this picture. I love the colors - they're hopeful in a surrounding environment of too many muted shades of depressive and sad. I smiled at the time I took the photo, and thought how beautiful it was. I recalled how Reg had told me one of the blessings right after the quake was that fresh fruits and vegetables were able to be brought into Port au Prince almost immediately from the surrounding agricultural areas.

This earthquake left Port au Prince a landscape of grey and dark - crumbled concrete, grey dust, piles of dark garbage ... dirty water. These beautiful fruits & vegetables represent one of Haiti's resources that looms large as a source of hope and opportunity for its people.

Below is the link to an article that speaks to the issue:

With Cheap Food Imports, Haiti Can't Feed Herself

A quote from the piece:

"Decades of inexpensive imports - especially rice from the U.S. - punctuated with abundant aid in various crises have destroyed local agriculture and left impoverished countries such as Haiti unable to feed themselves.

While those policies have been criticized for years in aid worker circles, world leaders focused on fixing Haiti are admitting for the first time that loosening trade barriers has only exacerbated hunger in Haiti and elsewhere.

They're led by former U.S. President Bill Clinton - now U.N. special envoy to Haiti - who publicly apologized this month for championing policies that destroyed Haiti's rice production. Clinton in the mid-1990s encouraged the impoverished country to dramatically cut tariffs on imported U.S. rice.

"It may have been good for some of my farmers in Arkansas, but it has not worked. It was a mistake," Clinton told the Senate Foreign Relations Committee on March 10. "I had to live everyday with the consequences of the loss of capacity to produce a rice crop in Haiti to feed those people because of what I did; nobody else."

For those who want to know how to help Haiti, I offer the thought that you can be of immense help by just educating yourself a little about the issues involved in bringing the country back from not only this disaster - but from all that has happened to Haiti in her past.

So many times while I was there, in discussions with Reg and others, the sentiment was expressed that perhaps the positive thing that can come out of such a negative and horrible tragedy - is that this earthquake and the resultant horrendeous conditions it has left Haiti with - bring light to what was wrong before it hit. That with awareness of the problems Haiti faced before, the assistance offered in the aftermath will take a new form that (yes, this is going to be a theme, and a necessary one) empowers the people and enables them to live in a world where they can have hope for the future.

I sit and write about all of this and it's hard not to see correlations with issues in our own country - so many places in the world. I suppose it's fair to say that being thrown first-hand into the disaster of Haiti; being given the opportunity to understand the cause and effect of Haiti's history on conditions now; having the gift of meeting, talking with and gaining the perspective of people who have actually lived much of that history - woke me up.

It's a process I suppose. Haiti wakes me up and makes me aware of things I didn't see before; makes me care in the immediacy of its need; teaches me to look deeper and educate myself; gives me a sense of immediate connection and to see the power of small actions combined - the value of getting out of my world. By a larger design I think I'm deliberately drawn to this now. But I can also see how it is opening me up to realize a bigger picture - and how the larger world, and the world I live in here in my country - will fit into that picture also.

I continue since I've returned to learn all I can, using the resources of the internet - reading books - beginning the process of organizing all of the information I returned from this trip with. I thought the "Journey" was my 5 day trip to Haiti. Daily I realize the Journey has really only begun. It's an admittedly depressive one sometimes ... I am appalled at some of the things I'm learning. Sad to realize how naive I've been in ways.

But its also a hopeful journy. I'm realizing that as intimidating as the problems are; however insignificant I might feel I am, and as follows, daunted by the thought I could ever offer anything truly helpful to the overwhelming situation? The examples of people who must have felt the same way nevertheless doing what they can, in very brave and meaningful ways - says its the least I can do too. And seeing the tangible little things that have been done by those people, over time leading to significant bigger things - yes, gives me hope.

Want to do a little thing?

Click on Project Medishare - or Aviation for Humanity - or Art Creation Foundation for Children - or Partners In Health and make a donation. I promise you all of these organizations will put the funds where they will do the most good - now.

Thank you............................

And so the rains begin ...

2010-03-21T08:30:00.000-07:00

"Heavy Rains Swamp Camps Holding Haiti's Homeless"

The government needs to step up here and get on with what it should have done by now - get appropriate relocation areas opened up for the people. The article makes reference to this.

It's easy to say - just get them tents. But that's a band-aid that won't stay on what is a huge, gaping wound. The community leaders in the Cite` Soleil tent city near the school that I have written about, realize this. With sincere gratitude for the gesture, they've asked that the attempts I've been making to line up tents that concerned pilots were kindly offering to fly into Haiti - be put on hold for now. Why in the world, one could well ask - especially after reading the above article - would they do that? I didn't get it either at first. But now I do. They don't want the tents?

Because they are wise.

The fact they exist is an important part of the big picture I want to emphasize. Community is important to the Haitians. And their community leaders - especially in times of need or conflict - play a crucial role. The "issues" you read about in the media that have occured at food distributions for instance? Don't occur where a community leader is given a bull horn and allowed to explain to the people exactly what is happening, how much food is going to be distributed, what the situation actually is. The lines I offered photos of previously here - where people stand calmly in line waiting their turn and fair share - are examples of where this was allowed to happen.

Remove any stereotypical thoughts you have about desperate, pushy, panicked people turning into mobs. You do these people a grave injustice. Especially in light of their history. But I get ahead of myself.

The reason the community leaders in Cite`Soleil don't want tents? Is because as desperately as they indeed want their people to be safe and dry ... they wisely know that tents now, in the environment they are presently in - will not be the solution in the long-term. And it's crucially important that people think long term. The past two months have offered many examples of the harm short-term, quick fixes can cause. Yes, of course they were necessary at first. But some were handled better than others - and the case of housing the people properly in wake of this disaster - holds valuable lessons for the world. We could all find ourselves dealing with this someday.....

Tents where the people are concentrated now will only add to the flooding issue, covering ground that should be absorbing water, not covered in too many people sadly sandwiched together in too little space - tents contributing to yet more run-off that has nowhere to go ... in an environment sadly inadequate for the need.

These community leaders wisely know that the people need to channel their frustration and anger (which sadly will arise as the rain falls and conditions deteriorate) not at the foreign-aid givers of tents who they could perhaps wrongly direct it at thinking the tents themselves are not adequate enough - but at their government; rightly demanding that IT provide its people with the help and assistance they deserve. The government for far too long has played a part in dis-empowering Haitians; that has to change. They need a chance for permanant, long-lasting opportunity to provide for themselves now and to create a future for their children and the generations to come.

One of the women I met on my trip - when asked what her people need the most right now? Replied, "Hope. My people have no hope."

The situation post-earthquake in Haiti is horrendeous on so many levels. That is sadly the reality. Even in my optimistic view of what I saw on my trip, I acknowledge the underlying pain and intense suffering. I also - sadly - comprehend there is no quick or easy fix here.

Let everyone who cares and wants to help? Acknowledge that first and foremost, that help needs to come with a promise from the world to do what is best for the Haitian people this time - not corporate interests, not governments - the people. There are obviously going to be many opinions and discussions on how best to ultimately do that.

(NOTE & ADDITION to this Entry: There is an excellent article in the April Issue of Harper's Magazine I just read entitled "Toward a Second Haitian Revolution" by Steven Stoll. Let me offer this excellent quote that speaks to what I addressed in this post, as well as to perhaps one of the greatest opportunities Haiti has to indeed empower its people again - it's agricultural potential:

"Helping Haiti now requires us to recognize that development aid has been little more than a monetary shakedown, “developing” nothing but millions of additional units of misery and dispossession. It has punished modest, small-scale farmers as though they were part of a problem when in fact they represent the only viable solution. Provision grounds elsewhere in the Caribbean have undergone no significant decline for centuries, evidence of the reliability of low-input cropping practices. Farms on this model maintain their soils, function without petroleum or capital, and give returns that feed local markets. As for their supposed isolation from the world economy, the studies of anthropologists obliterate this misconception. Smallholders around the world sell into the global marketplace without surrendering their autonomy.

Haiti’s peasants are the only people in the nation’s history who have ever produced for domestic consumption. Progress for Haitians means invigorating the countryside under their ownership, their cultivation, their control; it means helping the government help its smallholders. This is the low–impact, antidevelopment solution for Haiti’s future: a program of land reform that would give the provision grounds back to households, allowing them first to sustain themselves and then to create surpluses. The elite now own large, unproductive estates throughout the countryside. The challenge of development must be to make that land socially as well as economically productive. As for the food supply, imports will be necessary, but exports will follow when Haitians begin to meet their own critical needs.")

I hope that the rich potential of Haiti which for too long has been either used by others for their own gain, or surpressed ultimately for the same reason - is given back somehow to the Haitians themselves in the aftermath of this tragedy.

These kids - and the future they represent - deserve nothing less............

Ignorance wasn't bliss ...

2010-03-20T08:04:00.000-07:00

The condensed version of how I got to Haiti equals this: writer specializing in aviation (me) meets through a Cessna Pilot Society forum board - a pilot from Haiti (Reg) who comes across as a good guy character with a sense of humor and some stories. Tragic earthquake hits Haiti. Writer had just finshed "Three Cups of Tea" the story of Greg Mortenson and his building of schools in Afghanistan, a marvelous inspiring book written in conjunction with Greg by David Oliver Relin. After finding out that Reg and his family are OK, writer wonders how she could possibly help. Idea comes to her (literally) while tossing hay to her horses one a.m. that maybe she could write about Reg and tell his story (what little known even at that point seemed worthy of writing about); help raise awareness. Writer writes Reg and offers. He comes back a few days later as things begin to calm down for him in his country and situation and says basically, thank you but ... before saying yes, you need to know what you're getting into. Here, read.

And so basically - it all began.

What did I know about Haiti before all of this? Woefully little. Seriously, sadly now in retrospect - woefully little. I knew where it was geographically and I had vague mental visions of dictators, tonton- something's that were like horrible policemen, very poor people, hunger, tragic attempted escapes by boat ... every connotation or thought was admittedly sad and depressing. I was stupidly ignorant now in retrospect as what I just wrote reflects. "Tonton something's." Sigh. I apologize for the complete lack of understanding I had of such a devastating history that had me type that to describe my ignorance.

I'll admit my naive ignorance played into my thinking there was a story in Reg at the beginning. Amongst what I visualized as a country fairly negative to begin with and now further depressed by this horrendeous earthquake, here was this positive thinking, successful man who flies ... in Haiti. Story right? Well yes, definitely. Only not the one I thought.

Nothing - was what I thought.

Here's where I have no choice but to bring some of the political history of Haiti to this discussion - to this journey. You cannot understand the situation Haiti is in now, if you do not have respect and understanding for the situations Haiti and her people have been in ... in their past. I had to make a conscious decision to have an open mind and "follow the yellow brick road" that Reg sent me down to educate myself. Were his choices of what I should read to gain foundational knowledge of Haiti's past so I could understand her present influenced by his life and experiences? Of course. Were they the same choices someone with a different perspective would have offered me. Of course not.

What is truth? What is the "right" perspective? We all have to decide that for ourselves. What I have read, what I have experienced, what I am going to share ... is my truth now. It is an educated one; one I will continue to build on because I indeed have not just one, but many stories I want to tell after this trip. And because I realize the depth of my ignorance now, and how much there is still for me to learn and understand.

You will have to find your own perspective and truth if you care to. I can only speak and tell these stories from my own now. Borrow from mine if you are so inclined, as you find your own. Mine are grounded in my continuing in-depth research, my experiences in Haiti itself and with its people. It has a foundation of caring and compassion and is shaped by a growing understanding of underlying causes - all wrapped in a respect for the rights of every human being.

More tomorrow ....

Sharing the Experience - A Different Approach

2010-03-19T14:27:00.000-07:00

I just erased what I had starting writing, which was a Part 3 sequential written narrative continuing to share the experience like a travel log as I have to this point. So far was fine I think and hopefully I've gained your interest somewhat so you'll keep coming back. It's hoped also you will take to heart my recommendations about worthy organizations to support that can and will definitely help in this time of such great need for Haiti's people (please see links to the right - I refer to "Project Medishare", "Aviaton for Humanity", "Art Creation Foundation for Children", and "Partner's In Health.")

But I've realized a travel log is not what I need to do here, with the understanding I now have.

Why did I go to Haiti? Bottom line answer to that is because I felt an overwhelming sense I was supposed to. I went with the intent of gathering stories, perspective and insight and coming back and finding a way to take those things, raise awareness, and somehow through my writing perhaps help make a difference.

Now that I'm back, I know I was indeed supposed to go. Yes, I gathered personal stories; more than I could possibly have dreamed of. And I will use them in their right time, in the right way, to hopefully raise awareness and make a difference. Just as I was guided to go to Haiti in the first place, I know I will be equally guided to know how to write and share them most effectively to make a difference.

For those of you wondering what I mean by being guided? Interpret that to mean whatever you want - intuition, God, Spirit, undefined mystic energies, the voices in my head - it refers to something as personal for me, as I'm sure it is for you. Know I respect your personal meaning whatever that may be, and trust you will accept the explanation as offered and respect mine as well without further definition.

That leading to - please, do not let politics or religion polarize information and perspective I want to offer here. This is too important. If you have to filter it, do so through the lens of a fellow human being with compassion and a desire to understand.

Unfortunately, the reality of all that is happening now in Haiti - the tragedy that continues to unfold in the aftermath of this earthquake - cannot be understood without touching on the politics and the history of this country, much as our own issues here in the United States must be framed that way. How did we get to our present contentious debate over healthcare reform? The problems caused by the financial crisis? Politics and history are intimately woven together. Add to those a personal interpretation of facts; personal perspectives and priorities, and welcome to a complicated, convoluted and often contentious world ... welcome to the source throughout time of much disharmony and suffering. There is simply no way to avoid it. It is life.

So what are you getting at Susan?

I'm laying the foundation to express here some of my own personal truth and understanding about Haiti, now informed by my actually having been there. My thoughts about her people, her history, her politics and her present situation are completely different than they were when I first contacted Reg Auguste and asked to come to his country and hear his story. I want to share these things now with the intent of not causing further division and polarization of opinion - but to the contrary - I want to envoke empathy and understanding.

Most of all? I hope to somehow, someway ... make you care.

I understand now that Haiti is a poster child for all that is positive and powerful and wonderful in human nature and spirit, as well as - sadly - all that is negative and debilitating and horrible. As the title of this Blog implies, sharing my own personal journey to coming to that conclusion, is what I think I should do for now. Facts and a travel log narrative alone aren't going to hold your attention, and ranting about injustices will just encourage you to make judgements based on the wrong things.

No - let me tell you how and why my journey to Haiti - being there, meeting the people I did, seeing the things I did, educating myself the way I have - has changed me and my attitude about all I thought I knew.

And maybe if I do it the right way ~ it will change you and yours too................

I'll start tomorrow with some personal background; how my path came to cross in the first place with that of Reg Auguste and Haiti.

Sharing the Experience - Part 2 - 1st Impressions, and Project Medishare

2010-03-18T09:57:00.000-07:00

There were many supposed facts about Haiti in my head when I landed there. One of the first ones to be proven wrong after landing was that Haiti is hot - and - excessively humid. I walked out of the plane, started taking my first steps down the ladder, and admit I was thinking, "hmmmm....where's the oppressive humidity? It's worse in Hawaii, or even my hometown of Redding when we have an occasional odd hot/humid spell - than it is here right now. And this is DEFINITELY nothing like the humidity of the Philippines I have forever embedded in my memory banks." That thought was of course immediately superseded by stepping onto the tarmac and realizing I was actually in Haiti - as Reg and I made our first in-person contact. But we'll come back and re-visit the thought about humidity later; it has a purpose.

I knew Reg Auguste almost instinctively. The only picture I'd ever seen of him had been a photograph on the Aviation for Humanity website of the back of his head. But if you've seen my Picasa Photo Album, you'll see I spotted him from inside the plane - and we both knew each other on sight the minute I hit the ground from the stairway. A traditional Haitian/French "kiss on the cheek" greeting; an acknowledgement of the "I'm finally here, isn't that something?!" aspect of it all ... and then it was right into the procedures necessary to get through customs, and begin my educational journey in earnest.

There was a fairly organized procedure in place to process all the medical relief workers coming through obviously on a regular basis. We got the necessary form and filled it out ... quick processing and Reg with his Airport Security Badge (due to having GA aircraft on-site at the airport) soon had us leaving the customs area and heading for the Medishare hospital adjacent to the airport and the GA (general aviation) area so that I could see first-hand where all the people I'd been on the plane with, were going. Reg and his partner, had also played no small part in those first crucial days, in getting the hospital up and running.

Want heroes? Here you are: Project Medishare

I came to Haiti a week shy of two months since the earthquake hit on January 12th. The demanding horror and immediacy of those first few days and weeks has subsided of course - the results of it have most definitely not: the ongoing crucial follow-up care; the injuries of people who weren't able to seek immediate help - are still very much a daily reality desperately needing to be dealt with.

I know there are many brave and generous medical personnel in Haiti doing that. But the Project Medishare people are the ones I was privileged to see in action.

As I mentioned previously, many on my Vision Air flight into Port au Prince were already in scrubs; they hit the ground ready to work. They entered a world of tents - both where they would work, and where they would sleep and eat. I walked into the first medical tent, and instantly felt the reality of all this - it is palpable, the energy of both the suffering of the victims, as well as the hope offered by the existence of the tent and the people staffing it. It is fairly calm inside - two months later. I can fully fathom standing inside however, how horrendeous it had to have been in those first few weeks.

Here is an excellent article from the Miami Herald that will give you an idea of what it is like, if you would like a glimpse into what these heroes do. Is it tough to read? Yes. But then imagine what it is like to live it: Medical workers cope with Haiti quake relief's emotional toll

If you are wondering what organizations you can personally and directly contribute to that will put your donation toward immediate assistance to the victims of this earthquake, please consider donating directly to Project Medishare ~ as well as Partners In Health ~ Art Creation Foundation for Children or Aviation for Humanity. I can assure you that all 4 of these organizations will see to it that your donations go where they are intended - to assisting the children and adult victims of this tragedy.

I have to say I have been appalled to find in my research, the mis-direction of relief funds that has come to my attention, as well as the realization that many large organizations that one would think would be ensuring the most money went to the most direct means of help and support - especially for children - are in fact NOT doing that. I won't name, names. But please do your own research before donating. Or please - just take my word? And consider the above organizations.

Sharing the Experience - Part 1 ....

2010-03-17T08:33:00.000-07:00

I came home with 799 photos, 72 videos, hours of recorded conversation with my host, a mind with images and encounters embedded in it I will never forget. I also came back with an even stronger determination to accomplish what I set out on this journey to do in the first place, which is to somehow write about it all in a way that will raise awareness and keep Haiti and its people rightly in minds and hearts as the media coverage wanes but their need for help sadly only grows.

For here - for now - as I try and settle thoughts, perceptions, experiences, people met, paths and connections offered that now need to be followed in order to tell an educated and informed story - I'll use this place to simply record basic thoughts. I am not yet together enough to write a long eloquent accounting of this trip - and when I am, I hope to sit and do so in a way that will do justice to the stories, the people and the truth ... a manuscript that can be offered as a contribution to raise awareness and understanding; my goal in the first place.

So day one - after waiting in Miami for 2 days, I finally found myself at Miami Int'l at 5:00 in the morning, in line waiting to check in for my Vision Air Charter Flight. I was surrounded by people checking in for my flight wearing sweatshirts, jeans and scrubs. There were large rolling pallets of supplies everywhere - medical items, water, cans of Ensure - many wrapped tight in light blue plastic - something done at this airport I hadn't seen before. They had stations where you could "wrap" your luggage. I suppose appropriate in a way - wrapped presents for the people of Haiti. Although I found it sad that they were of the nature this disaster dictated.

I stood in line feeling out of place & a little guilty that I had not been able to bring anything of value in with me i.e. tarps or tents or supplies of any sort - "pack light" I'd been told and so I'd stuffed everything into a backpack and small bag. I try to make up for that now however, as I'm negotiating to get a bulk purchase deal on tents to be flown by private aircraft into Haiti. But I get ahead of myself ...

Our plane - because of those supplies - sat for over an hour on the tarmac before pulling away from the gate. My window seat just forward of the wing afforded me a good view of the cargo loading process and it was obvious from reading the actions unfolding below me that weight was an issue for this flight. The plane itself was filled to capacity with passengers - obviously the combination of all those crucial supplies, and the medical team's luggage was causing a weight and balance issue with the plane. Those bulk supplies I'd seen at check-in had rightly been priority - now a rolling cart of personal luggage of the medical personnel sat, as a group of ramp employees and 2 airline reps huddled over clipboards and paper while simultaeneously talking on cell phones. The pilot did finally make an announcement as we sat there, explaining every caution was being take to ensure the plane was properly weighted and as many supplies as possible made the trip, hence the delay in departure. Eventually I watched as some boxes came off the aircraft - ones that looked more like they were personal as opposed to relief supplies - and the luggage was put on. Shortly after - we finally pulled away from the gate.

The flight was filled with listening to the chatter around me from the doctor's, nurses and medical technicians that made up the flight, and glancing out the window periodically at the beautiful blue/green Carribean water below us.

In a precursor to a gathering suspicion that would prove to be correct - I looked around again at the dress code of those in my immediate vacinity - all as I said in either sweats, t-shirts and jeans or scrubs, and wondered if I was overdressed. It was obvious too of course, by the numerous scrubs worn, that these people were going to hit the deck running once they arrived in Haiti. The Medishare hospital they were going to as relief staff, was located on land adjacent to the airport.

They obviously had received different "appropriate clothing" advice than I had that would prove to be wise - just the first in many misconceptions about Haiti I arrived with. I came with outdoor clothing designed for a hot, humid, tropical, bug infested environment. Yes, it was warm, yes there were mosquitos - but I stepped off the plane thinking the heat was nothing like what I'm used to during the "bad summer spells" here in Redding of weeks of triple-plus heat - and the humidity? Hawaii is worse. And according to my host I wasn't just arriving in an unusually non-typical spell - he didn't understand the bad-rap the island gets for humidity either.

Conversations around me ranged from humourous anecdotes being told about co-workers who had already been to Haiti (obvious there was a conscious desire to "keep things light") - to medical discussions way over my head. What was striking though, was how quiet the entire plane got the minute we got our first vision of the Haitian coastline.

It took a while for that however. There was a heavy cloud cover, so at first there were only brief glimpses snatched through temporary holes in the clouds we passed over. But as the plane got lower on approach to Port au Prince, we saw it clearly - the brownish coastline muddied by erosion run-off due to the deforestation; the obvious density of population as we got closer to Port au Prince itself - and then the obvious devastation visible as we came in to land.

I sat looking out the window in the quiet - thinking as I'm sure many others did - this isn't a television video unfolding. I have arrived in Haiti, and this is real.

Some "after" perspective ...

2010-03-14T10:41:00.000-07:00

I thought before I write more here about my four days in Haiti, it might be appropriate to explain something: I am by nature an optimist. Life experiences have led to a belief that for me at least - optimism is a healthier attitude to adopt in dealing with some of the more negative experiences I've had over the past 55 years. I've been beyond blessed in so many ways, and what rough spots there have been I've chosen to learn from and not dwell on - I've looked for the lessons, and moved on. Not always easy, but a deliberate and conscious choice.

So as you read what I write about Haiti - perhaps view my Photo Album of the trip I just completed - do not underestimate the gravity of the situation there due to my deliberate attempt to see the light in the dark.

In a way, looking for the light was my saving grace while I was there, for had I let myself dwell on the enormity of the tragedy; to look upon those crushed buildings and visualize the lives lost in them; had I focused on the immense amount of sad and depressive images that were in my line of sight at any given moment? I would be of no help here. And that is all I want to do now - help spread awareness and understanding. I would suspect anyone who has been to Haiti post-quake probably has a similar attitude toward dealing with the overwhelming sadness and destruction - one couldn't function if it was allowed to be the focus.

The Haitian people themselves played no small part in helping me see the positive - their spirit and resiliance is palpable. Of course there is immense sadness and grief, but their intrinsic dignity and strength is what overcomes that. Under the same circumstances, I question I could be so strong.

Realizing how consistent that dignity and strength; humor and kindness is in the Haitian people as I got to know them and travel through parts of their country, the more I found disconcerting many of the mis-conceptions about them offered in the media. Food distribution lines with armed UN troops - even soldiers carrying cane switches - were unsettling and disturbing to me as we drove past lines of Haitians waiting quietly and patiently in the sun - often hands on the waist of the people in front of them - reminding me more of bread-line photos I've seen of the U.S. Depression era. They in no way appeared to me an angry mob, in need of control.

They were devastated human beings ... wanting food for their families and themselves; trusting in the promise that they would be given some.

I think fear is insidious and debilitating long-term - both when it rises in us personally, and when it is used as a form of manipulation by others. For what it's worth, not only myself, but others I have spoken with who have come to know the Haitian people ... feel there is a disproportionate emphasis on security in Haiti in the aftermath of this quake, and perhaps not quite as much emphasis on providing for overwhelming need - as there should be.

I'm trying to be diplomatic here and not come across as preachy. Nor do I want to get overly political because that is polarizing and I don't want to go there - this needs to be about helping the Haitian people and maintaining awareness of their acute needs.

But as I continue to write about this Journey, it's important I think for you to know my foundational perceptions - they play a large part in the stories I hope to tell.

I'll end this for now - and leave you with two photos I took at one of the rice distributions we came across:

Home ~ but left a little of myself there...

2010-03-11T20:27:00.000-08:00

I'm sorry I haven't been better at updating here ~ however I shouldn't have a problem doing a retrospective a day for a while on the trip, coming home with 799 photos, 70 videos, a gazillion scribbled notes, more than a few hours of recorded interview and a full mind and heart..

Haiti was inspiring, heartbreaking, uplifting, tragic, beautiful and life-changing. I type this from Gate 76B at SFO waiting for my 9 p.m. flight home to Redding. I am tired, but also a little more than sad that its all over ... and I want to go back.

There was only one disappointment on the trip, and even that is a qualified one. I did not get to Jacmel and Judy's beautiful school. Just one of the reasons I want to go back. However even Judy kindly understood why I didn't make it; as she told me before I went - "Susan, its about the kids." Yes, it is. It's about the kids, and about the Haitian people. And for me ... the kids and the people and the place I was meant to get to; the ones that were meant to tug at my heart the way Judy's children & people tug at hers and the members/supporters of her foundation - were in Cite` Soleil. I touched on this in my last post - let me re-visit it in more detail now.

Cite` Soleil has a reputation for being perhaps one of the most depressed areas in Haiti. And poor Haiti; that's saying something because so much of the country is obviously struggling. But Cite` Soleil? Is where Reg Auguste's factory is ~ it is where he's put much of his heart and sincere desire to help the people of his country. It is where he has put much of his integrity, his truth and his caring ... his time and his money. By bringing together the leaders of the community - showing respect and offering them their dignity along with opportunity - he and others have combined forces to build a school.

I saw it first on Sunday at dusk ... to get to it we walked behind Reg's factory accompanied by Marcel, the leader of his community and a man Reg calls friend. At first Marcel did not want Reg to take me to the school - to get to it we would have to walk through an area let us just say ... was not pleasant. Remember we are dealing with a world where there is basically - nothing: no water, no electricity, very little if any adequate shelter, scarce food - and certainly no toilet facilities.

But Reg assured him it would be allright. And so we went. Marcel met me with a smile and a warm handshake. He was dressed in slacks with a nice shirt; Reg tells me he is a teacher. We hurry, for it's already starting to get dark. I follow Marcel with Reg behind me. I walk deliberately and carefully, following in Marcel's footsteps. We manuever through the rubble of a building; we walk carefully on deliberately placed chunks of concrete across a grey water bog filled with debris and garbage. We slip between a small break between a steel fence and the remains of a concrete wall. We come to the tent city. Only it isn't really a tent city - it should be; these people *desperately* need tents. It mostly though - is a tarp, cardboard, plywood, whatever will maybe provide some semblance of a cover over their head - city. The children spot me - there are many - and start chattering and smiling and laughing and calling me "blan" (white). The adults glance and nod; sometimes a smile, but they're mostly engaged in trying to do - with what little they have. And it is very, very little.

If not a smile from the adults, and of course there were some, I was offered what I read as a face of sad resignation, combined with an acknowledgment of my presence. Not once was I approached for money. Not once was I looked at and made to feel like an unwelcome intruder. Reg pointed to the edge of the tent city, lined with concrete debris and tells me that as soon as it gets dark, Marcel will have to referree the distribution of that space - roughly 200 people will sleep along the edges tonight.

We walk a little ways and turn a corner. And there it is ... the school:

That is Marcel you see to the left ... the picture is not the best, as it was dusk and we were losing the light, but you can see how in a way that makes it shine a little in the dark - an apt analogy I thought.

I'm out of time, and there will be I promise ~ so much more. But let me jump ahead a little and show you a picture from when I went back in the daylight ... maybe this will tug at your heart a little too. When I get some rest and some time ~ I'll come back, and start at the beginning of this trip.................

So much to tell ~ too little time

2010-03-08T06:30:00.000-08:00

I wanted to post something - albeit brief. From the time I arrived I have been plunged into the entire experience that is Haiti ... from the earthquake related aspects, to glimpses of what it was like before. I have been deeply touched by the spirit and nature of the Haitian people themselves as well as by the world community that has gathered here to help them.

My flight here was filled with Project Medishare Doctors and Nurses going in to do a week long stay at the hospital located on the airport grounds. A hospital that Reg Auguste and his partner Franz were integral to getting established right after the quake. When I have the time, I will post pictures - sadly, none now. When I first arrived, I toured the hospital, then it was off to drive through Port au Prince .

The pancaked buildings, the horrendous damage is of course everywhere and even more heart-wrenching in person than it is on the news as you can imagine. I am fortunate in that the bodies are no longer in the streets. There are piles of rubble everywhere. Everywhere buildings are by hand being sledge hammered down. I woke to the sound of that this morning - the rhythmic, repetitive constant. Reg's neighborhood is a mix; I sleep in a safe environment - my own room with full bathroom - the home itself beautiful and self-sufficient with its own power and water. Reg's wife Marie Elaine has beautiful gardens - including an indoor one; and atrium off the living room where when it rains? It actually rains in that portion of the house. Stunning. It is a dream home built with care and appreciation after years of planning - only large enough to be comfortable and gracious and beautiful; there is loving energy here - no ostentation.

Last night I saw Reg's soap factory located in Cite Soleil. Then walked with him and Marcelle, a community leader from the neighborhood, to the school that Reg, Franz and others helped build. We walked through a tent city; the people smiling and gracious - again - not a moment of feeling threatened. They smiled at me ... I looked at the conditions they were living in and my heart broke a little; and I thought too of what this would be like when the rains came. And then we came to the school - this shining piece of hope amongst all the sad. Reg says they were up to 196 kids when the quake hit. Now there's 120 ... and when it has rained these past weeks?

The school stands strong and secure and Marcelle says 200 people come inside to sleep.

More when I can.

Greetings from Miami...

2010-03-04T08:46:00.000-08:00

Getting closer. Travel here yesterday was without issue - well, with the exception of standing outside where they told me to for an hour and a half waiting for a hotel shuttle at the Miami airport until 11:30 last night. But hey - builds character!

After the 4th phone call of "hello, where ARE you guys?" as I stood there freezing my patooty off (that one was for you Sparky :-), and who knew it could be so fricken' cold in MIAMI?!) I had the light bulb go off that maybe - just maybe - something or someone was trying to tell me something. So instead I got on a shuttle to a delightful Doubletree whose quiet room I now type from, that showed up right in front of me as I was on my cell getting potential alternate hotel phone numbers from my husband. True story: he'd read off the names Wyndham, Holiday Inn, Softiel, Doubletree - and voila, the Doubletree shuttle pulled up in front of my face.

Paul Farmer if you're out there? Like you were quoted in your book and I already referenced here once - you do indeed need to listen to the angels when they're talking to you.

So I relate that little tale not as a complaint - I will have none on this trip, I don't care what gets thrown at me. No way I can justify any given where I'm going. Because I'm finding just the thought of where I'm going - the people there and the conditions they have been/are living under - is putting a lot of things into clear perspective for me ... little stupid stuff should not be sweated.

After talking with Reg this morning (every conversation by phone only confirming that if you're gonna hitch your wagon to somebody you've never met under circumstances like these? Couldn't find a nicer, more dependable generous man - than Reg Auguste. Although still say being a little crazy helps too; he's kindly taking me and my project on in the first place without ever having met me either ... some could indeed rightly say we're both nuts here) I'm now scheduled to go into Haiti on Saturday afternoon. I'll be back in Miami he assures me one way or the other, next Wednesday.

Tomorrow he's trying to arrange for his wife and son who are here now, to meet with me. And the stories, background and perspective will begin in earnest.

I'll share another "angel talking" sign I had yesterday during my travels. On my flight to SFO from RDD bright and early yesterday morning, there was a woman close to me with a loud enough voice to carry over the prop engine noise, talking with her traveling companions ... about Haiti. She was telling them the story of the pigs. That's a long one I won't get into right now because at this point I really don't know all of the tale myself - but condensed version is that there was a native breed of pig that the Haitians bred and used as barter; very important to them. Some aide groups basically came in and said - "no, no - we have a better pig for you!" and the native pigs were history and a new breed came in? That couldn't survive.

Like I said, condensed version - but those of you paying attention get the point: what was supposed to be helpful? Turned out to be disasterous. A sad theme I'm thinking in this country.

Unfortunately, once we landed, she and her companions were gone before I could get a chance to talk with her. But the fact she was telling this tale - KNEW this information to begin with and was sitting within ear shot of me on my flight yesterday? Has got to be more than a coincidence.

There's been a whole lot of that so far on this journey.

Have a feeling there will be more before it's done.

Tomorrow

2010-03-02T06:58:00.000-08:00

Since we live in the Redding Airport flight path, I sit here every morning with my coffee and hear United Flight 6820 depart for SFO ... wheels up at 5:46 according to my itinerary; it does usually fly over the house between 5:50 and 6:00 a.m. consistently (there it goes now as I type this - at 5:53 a.m.) Tomorrow a.m. I will be on it.

I'm excited. Not in a "I'm going to Disneyland" kind of way of course. But still.....

I got into an e-mail debate yesterday afternoon with a good friend, over the political aspects of Haiti. I don't want to delve into that too much here; but her comments re-affirmed something I realize more and more as I've read extensively trying to educate myself as much as possible before I take this trip. And that is that there will be no way to tell Reg's story, or the story of Haiti and its people as it relates to Reg's story - without touching on things political. This country has long been at the mercy of global politics and economics - there is no way to write about it without acknowledging that.

I've been advised to be careful about admitting I'm no expert on Haiti; might undermine my credibility when it's time to write. That's wise advice in some ways, but I think whatever story I'm meant to write here will need to develop with a foundation of my own honest education about Haiti's history - I didn't know it, and to be blunt? Until now I didn't care. My impressions were of horrendous living conditions for the people, the majority of which are extremely poor; constant political upheavel; a series of corrupt and brutal dictators; sad, sad country that I had no reason to pay attention to except to occasionally sigh over another depressing newspaper headline.

That's changed obviously. And the more I read - many perspectives, many sources - the more I come to understand. And the more I come to understand? The more empathy I have for this country - for what her people have and are still going through. Haiti's story, is perhaps not what your impressions might deem it to be either.

So this wanna-be writer, middle-aged, relatively well-off white woman from Northern California thinks she's going to fly off to Haiti, understand it all, and come back and convert the masses - how naive can one person get. See ... I hear some of you (I'd insert a smiley face here, but I'm trying to avoid those ...) I also hear some of you thinking life is an adventure, go see what you can learn girl. Both opinions make me smile, for different reasons of course. Obvious what I'm doing and my perceptions will be viewed through the individual perspectives of each person reading about it ... c'est la vie, as the French say; that is life, and how things are.

I cannot change the base personal beliefs you might bring to following all of this. But I can ask you to read what I write with an open mind and leave room to maybe change your impressions. I'm writing about a country far away, and people culturally different. But I believe there are universal stories of humanity to be found ... we can all grow from listening to them with an open mind, trying to find commonality instead of differences; seeing lessons offered; perhaps finding ways to help and heal.

I see the new Johnny Depp "Alice In Wonderland" opens while I'm gone. Something to look forward to when I get back! Also not a bad analogy to use as I go off to finish packing the next 8 days of my life into a backpack ~ including Cipro and Immodium! I do indeed feel a little bit like Alice, about to jump down the rabbit hole, into a completely different world.

Be well all ... thanks for coming on the journey with me in spirit. I'll check in here if I can; not sure what my connection ability will be while I'm actually in Haiti. At the minimum, I'll post something when I get back into Miami.

Stories about the Mad Hatter, and the Chesire Cat? :-) (ok ... just ONE ... smiley face)

Has to be about the bigger picture

2010-03-01T06:26:00.000-08:00

I read an excellent post by Dr. Mark Hyman over the weekend here: Haiti Weather report: Mostly Foggy With Rain Storms Expected He and his surgeon wife were on the ground in Haiti immediately after the quake. Five weeks later they've returned. Here is an excerpt:

" The Haitian people accommodate. Perhaps that is why we ignore them. The dancer who lost both her feet danced for us in her bed, swaying her body and waving her hands entertaining us, imploring us to tell her story. On Sunday morning in Cange, in the central plateau of Haiti where so many escaped Port au Prince to receive care and shelter, the Church was turned into a hospital ward, and Sunday services were held in an old auditorium a thousand people huddled into the building and spilled into the courtyard to celebrate life, to help each other. This was Zanmi Lasante, Partners in Health, the place where Paul Farmer created a vibrant health center and community out of the most desolate place in Haiti 25 years ago. That morning Paul translated the stories of those who survived the quake, who came to Cange to get help and shared their gratitude, their hope, and their love with all of us. There is only gratitude and patience and fortitude in the face of so little."

As I continue learning about the history of Haiti, my gratitude to Reg for insisting I do deepens. I go to Haiti to learn his story; but I see now why his story cannot be separated from that of his country and people. I had to learn enough before going to respect that fact fully once I get there, in order to begin to understand Reg. There is much to learn, and I knew little. What I did know was shaped by media reports that I'm sorry to say do not even begin to tell the true story. I say that after weeks of reading and edcating myself - and I have only scratched the surface. I still have much to learn. I intentially want to be honest about that, because I hope that you will respect that as my eyes open through my intensive research, that for you as for me, there will come a potential window of seeing Haiti and the situation there in a new light - based on a deeper understanding.

There are endless layers to the problems in Haiti, something true of anyplace in the world, the dear U.S. included. But the more I read and understand, the more I realize how truly daunting the issues facing these people; issues horrendeous before ... now thrown into the aftermath of this devastating earthquake.

I read over and over and over again about the gratitude, patience and fortitude of the Haitian people. I quoted what I did above, because I was struck by Dr. Hyman's "The Haitian people accomodate. Perhaps that is why we ignore them."

I've been implored to focus by some on only the positive ... ignore the fears and the issues and focus on the people - the beautiful children - the hope and opportunity. And as already expressed here, of course that is the rightful ultimate empowering vision; I have done that. I will continue to do so.

But I'm also realizing that understanding the causes of the problems that Haiti and its people already faced on that fateful afternoon when the earth shook - have faced for so long now - is crucial to understanding how best to help make this tragedy into opportunity. Haiti's people deserve a lasting ability to reshape their broken country into something reflective of their own desire to lift themselves up from poverty and want; to bring back their agricultural heritage, heal their land, and provide for themselves. The beautiful children deserve a future with hope.

This is Haiti, a world away from most reading this. There are so many here in our country hurting and in need - I do not negate that. But I think how the people of Haiti rise up from this quake will have ramifications and lessons for everyone, the world over. Already there are discussions about how the emergency response - due to the horrendeous nature of this quake and the large number of people affected as well as the conditions they were living in when it occured - holds lessons for how to provide aid better and more efficiently in the future for similar disasters; how to avoid similar tragedy of this magnitude. The models used for assistance by the global community in helping re-build the country of Haiti will hold many lessons as well.

Let the models for assistance be solutions that will offer opportunity to the Haitian people to regain their dignity and provide for themselves and their families. The more I read, the more it seems its their turn for their country and their government to make accomodating them and meeting their needs as a whole ... a priority.

Finding a balance

2010-02-25T09:13:00.000-08:00

Is a challenge as I prepare to go on this trip. On the one hand there is this horrendeous tragedy. On the other hand there's the need as I mentioned previously, to go into this experience with my optimism and humor intact because I think they are going to be saving graces.

For instance in the humor dep't recently? Gotta see the amusement in finding myself getting stupidly excited the other day over finding small little dissolving sheets of shampoo and conditioner packed into little 2x3 plastic containers, because it frees me up to carry on mosquito repellent on the plane. It's the little things. And that's funny? Which is good.

But then I can go to instant non-funny? By letting my mind remember I've been told if I could bring some tarps with me, they'd mean the world to people in Jacmel ... it's what they live under. And that's so ... not funny.

Like I said, finding a balance.

Educating myself the last few weeks has been a journey in itself. There are layers of history, circumstances, and events; perspectives, past and present to work through for me. Haiti's story is a long and complicated one and I would be naive and indeed disrespectful to think I could write anything about the country or its people much less go there, without having some prior background knowledge - naive indeed also, to think I can understand it all in a few weeks.

But I am doing what I can - I read books; utilize the vast resources of the internet. I have watched countless videos; read other blogs. Hours spent, and I know I haven't even touched the surface, but a foundation is being built, one that is beginning to give me an educated place from which to interpret the experiences I am about to have. One that is creating an enormous respect in me for the spirit of the Haitian people. One that is also painfully showing me - how bad it really is.

So that said, I also have these two main people now helping me prepare for this - Reg Auguste and Judy Hoffman - in their individual ways telling me not to lose my optimism and sense of humor. My conversations with them are in themselves balanced with advice grounded in a serious, horrific reality, but also laced with a great deal of humor and hope. They are I know preparing me to see the sad - but equally telling me to also make sure I see the uplifting and the beautiful.

Speaking of which - I offer this picture from the Art Creation Foundation for Children Foundation site. Is her face - her pride in what she's created - not uplifting ... beautiful ... and hopeful?

The journey picture continues to unfold ...

2010-02-23T14:30:00.000-08:00

I spent over an hour last night talking on the phone with Judy Hoffman, the founder of the Art Creation Foundation for Children in Jacmel. How we got introduced to each other is yet another synergistic puzzle piece to this story. My oldest son works for Dharma Trading in San Rafael, California - a large textile craft supplier in business for 40 years. Judy ended up on the phone with my son; mentioned they were discussing an order for her "kids in Haiti" ... and you can guess what happened after that.

The ACCFC website is full of information on the organization; its history, staff and supporters and of course the children. I again urge you to check it out.

It turns out that Judy - who lives in Florida - will be in Jacmel the same week of my visit.

Reg has kindly said we should be able to fly to Jacmel (a 15 minute flight in his Cessna 172) so that we can meet Judy and her kids. There is some hopeful expectation that at least a few of the children might get a chance to see an airplane up close for the very first time, and I've been kindly invited to spend a night there if possible. We shall see how schedules and timing and situations develop. Being able to go to Jacmel to meet Judy at all, seems fated ... and an important part of this journey.

She told me stories about the heart and dignity of the Haitian people she has come to know over the years, their spirit still strong in spite of the horrendeous present situation. In fairness - from what I've read and heard - she spoke to a heart and dignity maintained for a long, long time now against seemingly unending adversity and hardship. She spoke poignantly of the hope for a better future held in the children. It will be a privilege to meet her, and them.

Reg and Judy both have now made reference to the fact that once I meet the Haitian people and experience the country, I will never be quite the same again....

Brief Synopsis of the Cast of Characters thusfar ...

2010-02-22T11:59:00.000-08:00

"Reg" is Reg Auguste, the pilot I met through the Cessna Pilots Society who started this journey for me by agreeing to let me write his story and the story of his country and people. A man who graciously and kindly has agreed to be my host on this trip.

Judy Hoffman is the founder of the Art Creation Foundation for Children in Jacmel, Haiti. I will be talking with Judy soon. There is a good story regarding how we met in such a timely fashion; as promised I'll come back soon offering more details on the wondeful organization she and other caring people have created for some of the children in Haiti. I know she wouldn't argue with me if I said she wishes they could somehow wrap every child in Haiti that was in need, in their caring and supportive blanket right now. I know she would also agree however, that this is a situation where all anyone can do ... is all that they can do, whatever that might be - however seemingly small. I urge you to check out their link to the right.

Leap of Faith Confirmed and Booked

2010-02-21T15:19:00.000-08:00

I finally spoke with Reg again this afternoon. I think he's as crazy as I am. But then I'd have to follow that statement up with one saying I guess I'm in excellent company, and wouldn't want him - or myself - to be any other way. I haven't met him in person and I know little (yet) about his own personal story - but just from two 40 minute phone conversations, I already admire the heck out of the man.

I promised Reg in return for his kindness, generosity and support, I will come to his country with an open mind and heart and do my best to tell its truth when I come home via my tappy fingers. Haiti and its people sadly haven't always had the truth told about them - or about what has been done to them.

I go to Haiti with full respect and empathy for the situation and for the tragic circumstances I'll be walking into. But I also begin this adventure with my sense of humor and optimism intact. I plan to keep that going for me - best medicine ever in my opinion.

I may sometimes merely post random bits and pieces here depending on time. But I will aspire to keep a journal of how this all progresses, however that may end up presenting itself. And I promise to be nothing less than honest, even if that might get weird and a little messy at times.

Flights are booked, and I leave for Miami Wednesday March 3 and return on Thursday March 11.

Reg said there will be a washer and dryer (pack light) and bottled water available. Under the circumstances and considering what others are dealing with right now - all I've read about conditions? That sounds heavenly and I'm already grateful for little things (I don't doubt that although I write that now with an underlying levity, it's going to take on a completely different meaning for me a week and a half from now.)

When there's time, please check out: Art Creation Foundation for Children This foundation located in Jacmel, Haiti, along with its founder Judy Hoffman, are also evidently meant to play an important part in this unfolding story. They were my latest "angel sign" as Paul Farmer says. I promise to tell more about them later........

The Beginning ...

2010-02-20T10:57:00.000-08:00

Those of you who know me, know why I started this blog. For those of you who do not, it will soon be clear as you read my entries.

Since I sent out my initial e-mail on Thursday, I have been touched by and grateful for the responses to it.

The phrase "you go girl!" will echo in my head frequently now as a supportive mantra!

Note: I just did a huge edit on this post, and decided to end it as I did above - sums up the beginning of all this pretty accurately.

A journey such as this isn't embarked upon without a great deal of self-reflection. As a writer - I decided this is going to ask me to find value in brevity; until I start writing the book. My passion for things in life shows up in my writing sometimes as excess. To be effective here, I need to curb that tendancy.

Since I'm fond of quotes (ironically because they tend to sum things up so nicely in few words!), let me offer this one as what will hopefully be my guide through all this. Don't know who to credit for it unfortunately:

"As a beautiful flower that is full of hue but lacks fragrance, even so fruitless is the well-spoken word of one who does not practice it."

Time to go practice my words....